Thank God

by Erin O'Neill

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credits

released January 8, 2017

All songs written by Erin O’Neill
Produced, Mixed and Mastered by Ivan Edwards
Mixed at ES Audio
Artwork by Abigail Tjaden
Photos by Ajay Fay

Thanks to Joe Salcedo, Efa Etoroma Jr., Chris Cadenhead, Anthony Brewster, Grace Nathaniel, Conrad Bauer, Cheong Kim, Dan Lutz, Phillip Meneses and Dan Blessinger for contributing your amazing talents!

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Erin O'Neill Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: Cold In California
You know I hate it when it's cold in California

I called you on that bluebird day
My yellow-eyed beast pulled me away
Four rings and a click all just to say,
“I will not let you see me this way.”

You know I hate it when it’s cold in California

The subtleties of your slowing pace
You lined up your life so I’d leave no trace
Left me out of pictures, censored my face
Always making sure that I knew my place

You know I hate it when it’s cold in California
Track Name: Not This Time
Don’t wanna make you cry
Not this time
Don’t wanna say goodbye
Don’t wanna make you feel
All crazy
Or like I’m playing with your mind

Not this time, not this time

If there’s a better way
To love you
Would you show it to me, babe?
Don’t wanna be the one
To break your heart
By forcing my own way

Not this time, not this time

Wanna tell you things I told nobody before
I don’t wanna keep myself from love anymore
Wanna give the best of me and not be afraid
I don’t wanna miss my chance at living this way
Track Name: Sweeter
All the days I left behind
All the love I couldn’t find
But you don’t know what you don’t know
You can’t undo what you didn’t know was done

I’m stepping to the brink of life
I’m looking out with opened eyes
I didn’t know that I could fly so high

Sweeter, than anything that I had before
Sweeter, better than I even asked for
Sweeter, every day is an open door
Sweeter, so in love that I can’t sleep
Sweeter, been missing this essential feeling
Sweeter, when you kiss me so sincerely

My mind was all filled up with you
I ran out of room
Now you’re moving in my heart
It’s such a sweet place to start

Sweeter than ever
Track Name: Thank God
I just wanted to put you out of my mind and take back what’s mine
Reclaim my energy and do what’s best for me
Focus on something that’s hurt me less
I wanna be present to the possibility of being free
Wanna be present to the possibilities

And all I can say is, “thank God”
But there’s no relief from the pain
So many new questions for answering
And after 4 weeks nothing feels the same
And all I can say is, “thank God”

I’m not ready for a long reply, I thought that I’d already said goodbye
I squeeze my way through another day of feeling
Pressure to become somebody else
Now you listen and you say you’re sorry to me
Now you listen and you say you’re sorry
Track Name: Vacant Heart
The shadows cast over my eyes
Begin to stretch and shift in the sunrise
As I roll into the memory of you
I wake to find myself in this new life

My ways are deep
Deeper than I ever could have reached
And all your half true words I cannot keep
The space you took up now is empty
My heart has a vacancy

I untied your soul from mine
Every single knot that built up over time
As the tension fell, I could tell
You were never really mine
Track Name: Air
I catch your eyes as you hold mine
You look at me like I’m something to see
We’re all tangled up like a fruit on the vine
Always sippin on that sweet salvation wine
I was calloused and cracking
Now I’m melting reacting
To the hot and cold
Knowing when to lighten up and when to let it go

We breathe like the air in our lungs can’t stand to be there anymore

I slip your style into mine
You’re the complement I will not forget
Can’t take the waking cuz the light hurts my eyes
It always ruins dreams and threatens my mind
But I’m changing, adapting to everything that is happening

We breathe like the air in our lungs can’t stand to be there anymore

I’m ready for you
Track Name: Need To Drown
I gave my skin to the wind
What was I thinking?
I let it happen again
This filled up, heavy feeling
And I’m one glass of wine away
From treading these tears
Still I’m not one to pray
After all of these years

The sky needs to break
And I need to drown

I let my thoughts turn to mist
From black to white to gray
It always comes down to this
When I watch them drift away
And I’m fighting for release
So I can be free
Crying for relief
Salt water to sea

The sky needs to break
And I need to drown

Humidity so heavy in this town
I need to drown
Spilling all my feelings on the ground
I need to drown
Track Name: Cracked
It cracked in my hand
I remembered the meter
It wasn’t too late
It cracked it my hand
It hadn’t fallen
But sometimes you can’t predict the break

And I’m inside out of mirrors
Never really clear on what it is I look like
Fumbling over fears, shifting gears
I’m just trying to get my act right

Get it right

You cracked in my hand
Splintered down your perfect face
It wasn’t too late
You cracked in my hand
Felt no pain
But sometimes you can’t predict the break

And I’m inside out of mirrors
Never really clear on what it is I look like
Fumbling over fears, shifting gears
I’m just trying to get my act right

Get it right

I ran out of ink at the worst time
Frustrations on the page
Went deeper than I realized
The world, I fear, has turned away
Who am I today?
Track Name: Heart Ain't Breaking
Spaced out, I don’t know what I’m doing
Here and now, one thing I know for sure
My heart ain’t breaking anymore

Big mouth, I can’t stop talking bout
How things are now and just how good I’m doing
My heart ain’t breaking anymore

My heart ain’t breaking anymore

You said, “I love you but there’s something that you
Don’t have for me to keep this going”
But my heart ain’t breaking anymore

I left behind the parts of me that were
Dried and dead, and I started over
Heart ain’t breaking anymore

My heart ain’t breaking anymore

I’m not tryna blame ya
It’s unfair to shame ya
Only took a year to say

All is forgiven
Almost forgotten
I hope you find blessings in your day